Spring is the time when everything seems new again, and we’re excited and delighted to have signed a new author, Kathryn Kaplan. A powerhouse in the field of organization development, her book, Becoming Visible to Myself: An Unexpected Memoir, grew out of a long, loving, and ultimately revelatory exploration of her journals, a collection of thirty-two 7” x 10” hard-bound spiral sketch books filled with observations, questions, quotes, images, and sketches that she came to call her “Wise and Wonderful Black Book Series.” Her discoveries deepen our appreciation for the struggle so many of us with challenging childhoods (and even those without) face: forming an identity when we are not allowed to be ourselves. Here is the book’s opening:
The first thing to know about me is that I have always been a seeker—someone looking not just for answers but also for “the” answer—for “IT.” What was this “IT” that was always eluding me? You know it well, whether you have it or whether you’re still looking: that sense of confidence, self-esteem, something solid inside that you can trust, that feeling everyone craves and so many of us believe only others enjoy, the basic knowledge that we’re really OK. My experience of myself was that something essential was missing. I felt that I had no direct access to my core and that filled me with shame. So it didn’t matter how much I excelled as an achiever, how many professional accolades I accumulated, how many happy moments I managed to experience. None of these brought “IT” any closer.
We’ll be sharing more on Kathryn’s book in the weeks to come.
Pink hyacinth
Meanwhile, Tom’s trip down memoir lane continues, with a foray back to his first kiss at age 14.
Tom and his first girlfriend
Of these things, I remember so much, and yet so little. Like the laws of physics, memory breaks down at the extremes. Go in too close, and the details dissolve. Pan out for the big picture, and the map becomes blurry, the meaning of the experience falls maddeningly out of focus. Words that approximate feelings are all that remain.
As for Tom’s first love, that’s a different story, which many of you already know.
Julia spent a productive week in Marblehead, MA, collaborating with another writer on episode three of a tv series and will be returning later in the spring for a self-imposed writer’s retreat to work on her own feature film script.
Moon over Marblehead
For anyone interested, a spot has opened in our weekly Wednesday night flash fiction workshop, where our talented and always supportive group continues to flourish.
What we’re working on…
To date, we’ve focused much of the reporting here on the goings-on at Christmas Lake Press, so this week we’d like to feature some of our coaching clients.
Writer extraordinaire Dale Thomas Vaughn, with whom Tom works weekly, just got a short story accepted at SIAMB (Something Involving a Mailbox), to be published later this year in Issue #9. Dale is also the author of Birthright: Recall, an action-packed sci-fi novel in which a mysterious signal from earth reaches colonists on Mars after 500 years of silence.
Another client had a major breakthrough with his non-fiction book (which grew out of a Good Men Project article) realizing that his own personal story of loss and recovery will become the framework for what had been a primarily instructional volume. Writers often need help moving into vulnerable spaces, and the support of a coaching relationship can make this endeavor less frightening and more fulfilling.
And Jordan Kozey, an international mentor and consultant and founder of Promethean Men’s Groups, is writing the final battle scene of the final chapter of his fantasy novel, the first of a trilogy. Think Lord of the Rings meets Braveheart. It has been so rewarding to watch the quality of Jordan’s writing improve to a level that can now honestly be called mastery.
Work at the press continues apace, with editing of Where the Light Is Brighter by C. C. Griffin (co-written by Tom) in full gear. In the chapter, “Mother’s Day,” Terri, the daughter of a resident with memory impairment, shares her challenges with one of the staff members, a wise Mexican woman everyone calls ‘Grandma.’
“Listen, Terri. You can’t control everything. This disease your mother has—there’s no magic pill. There will be good days…and bad days, some better than others. I know it’s not what you imagined this time with her would be like, but you have to meet your mother where she is, enjoy what you can, when you can. All we have are the moments.”
“But what if she has one of her outbursts—in front of everyone?”
“But what if she doesn’t? And so what if she does? You can’t let her withdraw completely into herself.”
I start to hang my head.
“Terri! There’s no judgment here…no one is failing a class…no mistakes. It’s all about finding…a moment, if it will come, if you let it come…taking a breath…drinking a cup of tea for all…a way to find the joy.”
I shake my head. “Joy. I think I’ve forgotten what that feels like.”
“Oh, honey. I know this is so hard. I know she smiles at you, then screams at you. I know she tells you to turn on the news, then calls security ‘cause she thinks you’re a criminal.”
I shake my head, crying, but also laughing.
Grandma nods. “I hear what you’re saying, but who are you keeping her in her room for? Her? Or you? She’s your mother, and today is her day. Let her enjoy it.”
Last but not least, Tom’s little book, The Alphabet of Love, is set to release on May 1. Some lucky readers pre-ordered the e-book and will receive free signed copies of the paperback. It’s not too late if you’d like to join this group. Tom is honored to have received four humbling endorsements for the book from fellow coaches and authors Ella Hicks, founder of Rebel Thriver; Quentin Hafner, author of Black Belt Husband: A Marriage Book for Men; Bryan Reeves, author of Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her); and Nate Bagley, founder of Growth Marriage.
What we’re looking for…
Our door continues to be open for stories that make the heart sing, or shudder, or skip a beat, or soar. Fiction and non-fiction. Words that leave us indelibly altered. Anne Lamott put it best: “I do not understand the mystery of grace—only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.”
What we’re reading…
Tom has yet another new, and as yet unread, book on his desk, Constructing a Nervous System by Margo Jefferson, who brings innovation, insight, and risk to the art of memoir. He is hoping her experiments with form will inform his own. Julia’s nightstand is also piled high, but her recent focus has been reading source material to conduct research for her writing projects.
What we’re listening to…
Runaway, a book of stories by Alice Munro, is Tom’s current audio adventure, to which he was drawn after Robert Boswell cited the author’s remarkable craft in The Half-Known World. The breathtaking title story, which ends with a haunting twist, exposes the fault lines that define love, marriage, and friendship and forces us to reconsider what freedom means. Julia has been filling her ears with music.
What we’re cooking up…
We’re still, yes still, planning our first pop-up Zoom workshop for late April, or early May, so keep your pens and notebooks handy.
As always, we are grateful to our authors, clients, friends, and supporters. Onward and upward in 2022 and beyond!
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